Updated: May 13, 2020
Big Al’s Pizzeria is a family owned pizzeria, if you work there you are now family, blood or not. This pizzeria and its owners are to thank for the way myself and many others were brought up. We were always a family and that continued throughout the years even following our employment.
With that said, here we go. Saturday at Big Al’s was my day. I opened the place and closed it. Our general hours were from 11–11 on Saturday. To open at 11 that would require us to get there sometime around 10–10:15 to allow the ovens to heat up and get our morning pizzas ready.
Domino's claims to be the delivery experts, but they had nothing on us. Let me explain. Our main deliveryMAN ( Not I… Once I went out on delivery without the food. But, that is neither here nor there.) started his day delivering before even stepping foot into the pizzeria. Our guy would start every morning with delivering the newspaper. It even goes a step further than that. At this time, his dream job was to be a Mailman because “ya’know delivering mail is a step up from pizza”. Quick side note about that, this guy has a master’s degree in accounting.
With those details out there what happened on this very special Saturday was as follow. Our main guy was out on vacation which prompted me to step in and deliver the newspaper this wonderful morning. I finished delivering the paper and headed into open the store. It was about 9am now, way earlier than normal. I turned the oven on and while it was heating up decided this was a good time to take a nap. As soon as my head hit the counter I heard the door open. Enter the Spinchoon.
This man did not know how special he was destined to be, he had no clue that he was going to help to shape how we all speak not only in the pizzeria but in our personal lives for years to come. This guy comes in looks at the counter and starts asking me for pizza. I respectfully told him that I was sorry but we were not open yet. At this point our wonderful guy here either is so hungry that he is not listening or just doesn’t care to listen to me as he keeps asking me if I have certain kinds of pizza. It is roughly 9:15, a full hour and forty five minutes before we open and I was just trying to explain this to a man who just didn’t get it. He asked me if I had a plain pie, a pepperoni pie and fresh mozzarella pie, all while I’m trying to tell him no we are not open. Then it happened……
“WHAT NO SPINCHOON PIE?!?!” Not only was this rude that he was not listening he also completely fucked up what we call one of our signature pizzas. Not only did he fuck it up but he also emphasized the last part of this made up word that just drove me wild. He seemed to have yelled the ending at me so it was like “WHAT NO spinCHOOOOOOOON PIE?!?!” At this point I was done. How many times can you explain something to someone who just does not get it. I don’t fully remember what words came out of my mouth after this but I do remember respect went out the window. In my defense, I tried but he just wouldn’t stop. It ended with him angrily leaving telling me he was going to let Al know how rude I was to such a good customer. What you need to know about this statement is simple, not only did I spend almost every day there and have never seen this man so how regular can he be? This wasn’t it. The simple fact about how full of shit this guy was is this, THERE IS NO AL! There never was an Al. The name Al in our name Big Al’s is a reference to Al Capone since our specialty is Chicago style pizza, so yes please go and tell Al I was mean to you. (Insert smile emoji of your choice here)
Following this day, anyone that would piss us off in any way would just be called a Spinchoon. We gave this word the meaning of a true ass hole. During our day to day operations we would call people Spinchoons to their face with a smile and they would be none the wiser. This brought us endless amounts of enjoyment. So from all of us at the Big Al’s family, Thank you, you Spinchoon.
So when someone pisses you off look them in the eye and call them a Spinchoon with a smile and then head over to twitter and let us know how it went. Let me know @Big_Broons or @TheSpinchoon and lets have some fun!